For the best

[anteros_lmc]

I’m back. My mother passed away last Wednesday, at the age of 77, after suffering a long and distressing illness. Thankfully the end came swiftly and peacefully and all her family were present.

It’s all been a slightly surreal experience to be perfectly honest, but then I suppose death is. When I flew up to Stornoway last Monday for the last watch, for some reason I had a scene from The Wrong War stuck in my head. It was the scene where the ratings ask Kennedy what they should do when they are ordered to retreat from the bridge. Archie replies “We fall back to the beach, and then, we wait”. Well we did wait, watch and watch, for three days and, typically, mother chose the moment we were all out of the room to breath her last. But then that was her way. She was fiercely independent to the last.

I watched The Wrong War a couple of nights ago and was surprised to discover I had remembered Archie’s line wrong. What he actually says is “Then, Styles, we withdraw to the beach and…..we hope for the best”. And I guess in the end it was for the best

We laid our mother to rest on Saturday in the teeth of a howling gale, right by the edge of the sea and she now lies within sight of the shore where she played as a child. We think she would have liked that.



View from Sandwick Cemetery
Many, many thanks to all for the kind thoughts and wishes. I can't tell you how much they have meant to me.

Comments

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome back, though!

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's good to be back :)

[vsee.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry,honey. Even when it is coming clearly in the distance, it's still tough. Many good thoughts for you and your family. I love the images of the gale and the shore. Thanks for sharing it.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie. It is tough, but it's a bit of a relief too. And it all went as well as could be expected. Even the gale seemed right!

[essayel.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetheart *hugs*. I'm sorry. What a lovely place to be laid to rest though. The light on the water.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun. It is a bonny spot. The picture above was taken at about three o'clock this afternoon.

Looking forward to catching up with your Gododdin guys. I've been wondering what they've been up to since I've been away :)

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thank you my dear. Your kind thoughts are greatly appreciated.

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

*hugs* That's a beautiful spot. I hope it feels 'right'.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

It does. It feels just right. She loved walking by the shore. We're wondering if we can erect a small cairn instead of the usual marble headstone. She would like that too.

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

That sounds really good.

[vespican.livejournal.com]

A relief to be sure, coupled with a great deal of sadness. If there be tears, let them flow, and let happy memories shine through.
Dave

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thanks Dave. What a lovely thought :)

[vespican.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.
If you are like me, she will return in your dreams.
Dave

[lady-branwyn.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Take care of yourself, you must be tired.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Yes I am tired, but looking forward to getting back to some kind of normality.

[eglantine-br.livejournal.com]

I cannot stop looking at the light in that photo. Just luminous. Very serene.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

It's nice because this cemetery isn't as remote as some of the others. It's within sight of town so she can keep and eye on the boats coming an going!

[black-hound.livejournal.com]

My condolences on your loss. Blessings to you and your family.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your kind condolences.

[esteven]

I wish her joy wherever she is, and I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

Well we did wait, watch and watch, for three days and, typically, mother chose the moment we were all out of the room to breath her last.
As long as you all were there she held on. Nurses have told me several times that this often happens with people close to death. As long as their loved ones are there they stay on, and only leave when they are by themselves. When my mother was close, the pastor told me to kiss her and let her know that I would not hold it against her if she wanted to leave, but that I would love her only more.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thank you sweetie. We all suspected she would wait till our backs were turned to slip away. It was sad when she went but we couldn't help laughing a little too. It was so typical of her!

[esteven]

Mothers! The same everywhere, independent and loving to the last.

[eveiya.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I understand what you mean by that sense of surreality, I also had that around my father's death back in May.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Condolences for your own loss. Things are starting to return to normal now but there is still that lingering sense of strangeness and loss.

[sarlania.livejournal.com]

*hugs* My deepest condolences to you and your family for your loss.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thank you sweetheart.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

You are the second LJ friend in a week to lose their mother - thinking of you and my thoughts go to you and your family.

xxx

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your kind thoughts. It must be that time of year :/

[katriona-s.livejournal.com]

Please accept my condolences. It must be difficult for you and your family... but I think, your present sorrow is an inseparable part of the happiness you've had. So please let them flow for your good memories. And please take care of yourself.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your kind and inspiring thoughts. Everyone has been so very kind.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie. It's nice to think of so close to her childhood shore, and her own parents are nearby too.

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

My condolences to you and yours.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thank you my dear.

[aletheiafelinea.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry, it must be painful time for you. At least it isn't painful for her anymore. *warm hug*

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your kind thoughts and warm hugs :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_likimeya/]

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's a beautiful spot for her to be associated with!

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie. It's a lovely spot and she did like to be close to the sea.

[joyful-molly.livejournal.com]

My heartfelt condolences; I'm so very sorry for your loss. Even if Death came as a gentle friend to lead your mum away from pain and suffering, it's still very sad and painful.

The spot looks lovely and peaceful; it reminds me of Gandalf's words:

"End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it. White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise."

I wish you a lot of strength, and that you'll allow yourself enough time to grieve. My thoughts are with you and your family; please take good care of yourself.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Really, thank you so much. I always loved those lines and the image of the curtain of rain being drawn aside. It's a long time since I've thought of it. It's a good thought to hold on to.

[latin-cat.livejournal.com]

Only just seen this post. *hugs* My condolences to you and your family; a peaceful death is always a blessing, but still sad for those they leave behind. You have given her a very beautiful resting place.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie. It was indeed a blessing.

Btw, hope you are feeling better yourself, sorry I didn't have a chance to reply to your earlier post.

[kittycallum.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry -- anticipated or no, it is still sad news. I hope you and your family are doing alright. That is indeed a beautiful place; especially in that light it looks lovely.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your kind words. We're all doing fine, it was a bit of a relief in a way, as she had been so ill towards the end.