Like This

Mar. 10th, 2010 07:33 pm
anteros_lmc: (Default)
[personal profile] anteros_lmc
Title: Like This
Author: Anteros
Characters: Archie Kennedy / Horatio Hornblower
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Erm, bit nervous about this. I'm posting this at the risk of putting myself up for a bad sex award. I wrote this at Christmas and it's been lurking in my drafts folder ever since. There's no other word for this, it's porn. But hopefully it's in character porn ;) And, ummm, it gets a bit graphic in places so if you're of a sensitive disposition I'd recommend looking away now. For those with a more robust constitution, I hope you enjoy it. I did :)



I

They had tried once before without success. Horatio had been determined as only Horatio Hornblower could be. He had been insistent, refusing to take no for an answer. Archie had been hesitant, unsure, afraid even, and had retreated at the first hint of pain. The whole debacle had been nothing short of a disaster and had left a tension crackling between them for days. Archie's sullen wounded silence punctuated by acid retorts; Horatio acting as though nothing was wrong, while studiously ignoring the blindingly obvious.



II

In the fortnight since they had returned to El Ferrol to honour Hornbower's parole the newly commissioned lieutenant had developed a rapacious thirst for knowledge. Knowledge of every inch of Archie's body and every sensation of this own. Of course it had taken Horatio time to accept that he wanted his shipmate. Wanted him above all else, above any Article of War or law of god or man. He had been horrified to finally look his desire in the face and admit that this was indeed the worm that gnawed at his soul, his darkest secret. But when he opened his eyes and looked, really looked it wasn't dark, it was clear and bright and blue. Like those blue eyes that looked right through, right into his soul and saw no worm there.

And so they had learned together. Horatio with the eagerness of a scholar given the keys to the Library of Alexandria. Archie relearning with a hesitancy that pained his friend. Archie had once known how to give and take pleasure, somewhere there were distant, distant memories of burning to touch and be touched. But they were buried so deep, by layers and layers of fear and humiliation and pain and brutality that when did Archie recall his youthful liaisons around Drury Lane it was as though these memories belonged to some interloper or doppelganger. For years, so may years, he had shut himself off from his body, it served only to deliver pain. But long fingered hands tugging gently at his collar, pushing filthy hair from his brow, tapping lightly on his breast whilst trickling water between sealed lips had reminded Archie that flesh existed for more than mortification.

And so they learned together. Learned to kiss. Learned not to recoil at the touch of the other's tongue. Learned how to look and be seen. Learned how to touch. And where not to. Learned where a firm hand was needed and where a lighter touch. Learned where caution was required and persistence rewarded. Learned each other's rhythm and tempo and the cadence of climax. Learned the measure of breath that quickened and quietened.

Archie had been astonished and slightly uneasy at his friend's determination. Despite Horatio's habitual reserve, once he had decided to deny his desires no longer, he showed no shame or reticence. There was fear to be sure but it was the kind of fear that made the spine tingle not the fear that caused guts to roil and void in terror.



III

"I want to feel you inside me Archie." He had been insistent.

"Horatio, I don't want to hurt you."

"I want you Archie." He was adamant.

"We can't. There's nothing to...."

"Oil. From the lamp."

"I don't know if I can. I don't want to hurt you."

"Please Archie, please. I just want you. Please." Restless hands caressing up and down his back.

"Horatio...."

"Archie please. Please. I need to know. I need to feel you." He had set his course and would not be turned aside.

"I don't know, don't know if I can. If you're sure....I could try....but if it hurts...."

Archie had been trembling more than Horatio when he turned him over to lie on his front on the rough bunk. Despite all his hesitancy Archie was hard. Dipping his fingers into the shallow dish with the dirty wick that served as a lamp he smeared some of the oil over his already wet cock. He loved the feel of Horatio's body, to run his hands over and over his skin but somehow he could not bring himself to press his fingers inside. Too intimate, too familiar, too something. A cock was made for that though, it required less conscious thought. Horatio was breathing hard and fast in anticipation, Archie took a deep breath and pressed his cock between the cheeks of Horatio's arse. He wasn't sure where to aim. Horatio groaned and angled his hips upwards. Guessing he was on the right track Archie thrust hard against his friend and felt that tell tale give and spread. Pushing again he felt the hot flesh start to part. Suddenly Horatio stiffened and yelped, an involuntary cry of surprise and pain. Archie jumped as if he'd been scalded. In a single movement he threw himself off Horatio, slamming his back against the wall drawing his knees up to his chest.

"Oh god Horatio I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

"It's all right. It's all right Archie." Horatio turned over quickly.

"I didn't want to hurt you didn't mean to hurt you didn't want to...."

"I'm fine. Really, I can assure you. Just didn't expect..."

"Oh god I'm sorry I didn't mean to..."

"Archie..." Horatio was sitting up now. Archie was visibly trembling, legs drawn up to his chest, head bowed against his knees, hair falling forward hiding his face.

"Archie.... Archie it's all right, you didn't hurt me. You didn't, I swear it." Horatio reached his hand out and ran his fingers lightly over Archie's shoulder. Archie shuddered and drew further in on himself.

"Sorry, I'm sorry."

"Shhh, don't worry Archie, it's fine. All's fine." Horatio wrapped the thin blanket round his Archie's shoulders, eased him down onto the cot and after a moment retreated to the bunk opposite.

The next morning when Horatio awoke Archie was lying in the same position facing the wall. He was reminded horribly and inescapably of the broken form he had found lying there a month or so ago. Horatio was actually relieved when Archie finally woke with a foul temper and a bitter tongue.

Difficult and indelicate as it was to broach the subject Horatio did his duty and tried.

"Archie last night, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. It was my fault."

"An astute observation Mr Hornblower. How magnanimous of you."



IV

That had been three days ago and Archie's temper had long since burnt itself out. The fear and anger had receded and he now felt foolish and lonely. Clearly irritated by his sullen silence and sharp retorts Horatio had left their cell that morning and had not returned. Archie had heard him talking to the ratings in the courtyard outside. He had laughed at one point. There was a day when Archie had been the one who made Horatio laugh. Later no doubt he would have gone for his daily walk along the beach.

Archie had given up any pretence of reading his book when Horatio returned long after the guards had delivered and removed what passed for their evening meal. He walked into the cell looking taller and straighter to Archie's eye than usual. "Mr Kennedy" he acknowledged flatly. "Horatio?" Without responding he shrugged off his jacket and walked over to the window where the last glimmer of light was fading. Archie gave up. He slid off his bunk and stood behind Horatio, slipping his hands round his waist.

"Horatio?" The ramrod in Horatio's spine seemed to stiffen.

"Horatio, I'm sorry. I've been foolish."

"Archie, really, there is nothing to appologise for."

He was implacable. Horatio had retreated behind his ramparts. There was only one way Archie knew to draw him out.

He unwrapped his arms from Horatio's waist freeing his hands to slide down over his hips, up his back, over his shoulders and down his arms. Down long arms, past clenched fingers to taught straight thighs. Something in Horatio's posture shifted imperceptibly as he exhaled a long breath.

"Horatio. I want you."

That was all it took. That was enough.

Horatio turned and kissed him, hard and slow and with such desperate need it took Archie's breath away. Archie caught his shoulders and pushed him back and down onto the bunk. Crouching on the floor in front of him he unbuttoned waistcoat, shirt, breeches, not stopping till Horatio was naked. His own clothes were discarded in equally short order. Another long slow kiss and he pushed Horatio on to his back lying over him, so close his lips brushed his cheek. "Let me show you. This is how it should be". Long dark lashes fluttered shut and opened wide. "Archie. You don't have to..." Archie pressed a finger to his lips and gripping one shoulder turned him over.

This time he started at the base of Horatio's neck. With long slow strokes and increasingly insistent kisses he worked his way down. Over jutting shoulder blades, down the ladder of his ribs, following his backbone down to the smooth hollow depression at the base his spine. Running his rough hands over smooth taut buttocks. Down and between. Horatio lay perfectly still, breathing heavily. Archie ran his hands over and over his buttocks, spreading his cheeks apart, all the while planting kisses across this back. He slid one finger down and circled the hot tight spot. With his other hand he scooped some oil from the lamp and smeared if over the opening. The oil warmed and slid immediately and Archie carefully pushed one finger inside. Horatio stiffened and stopped breathing and Archie felt the sharp pressure tighten round his finger. "Shhhh. Lie quiet, lie quiet." Archie eased his finger back and forth, Horatio was still motionless. A second finger followed the first. The same fierce clench, but momentary this time followed by a soft exhalation. A third. Horatio was moaning now and pressing his hips down against the bunk. "Shhhh" Archie worked his hand back and forth spreading his fingers slightly, all the time running his free hand over and over Horatio's back. Horatio moaned again and buried his face into the rough blanket. Without ceasing the motion of his hand Archie rolled on top of Horatio and pressed his cock against the palm of his own hand. Horatio responded to the weight above him by arching his back and thrusting his hips upwards. He was breathing one word over and over "please...please...please..." He was loosing it. Archie knew Horatio was desperate now. Knew that if he pulled away he would beg like a dog. But he didn't want Horatio to beg. That was not how it should be. Drawing his hand slowly out Archie slid his cock into Horatio's arse. The heat almost overwhelmed him and his head actually spun. Horatio let out a deep strangled moan but barely flinched. It took every ounce of Archie's will power not to come. He knew there was a spot in there and if he could just find it.... He was sliding more easily now picking up a rhythm that was matched by the upward thrust of Horatio's hips. Horatio's hands were curled into fists clenching furiously at the blanket. Archie gripped his wrists and dropped his head against the back of his neck. "You see, Horatio? Like this." Horatio was bucking wildly now, his breathing ragged and shallow, Archie knew he'd hit the spot. Undone by the heat and the pressure and the sheer joy of Horatio's long body giving way beneath him Archie let go and came with a intensity he could never have imagined in his wildest youth. Horatio gave a long low cry and followed him over the edge.



V

When Archie came to his senses he was still lying heavy across his lover's back. He rolled off. "Oh, sorry, you all right?"

"Horatio?"

After an age Horatio turned over. His dark eyes had a black glassy sheen and damp curls were plastered to his face. Lifting his hand he traced a line down Archie's cheek.

"Yes Archie. I'm fine."

Date: 2010-03-10 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esmerelda-t.livejournal.com
That was quite scandalous, well done. :)

I do enjoy fic that acknowledges the first time H&A had sex was probably not all violins and soft focus.

Date: 2010-03-10 10:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
That was quite scandalous
*chuffed* ;)

well done. :)
Hurray! Does that mean I don't get a bad sex award?

not all violins and soft focus
As if I would!

This fic was a result of being left to my own devices, while on holiday, with a large supply of red wine. Such circumstances haven't arisen again so sadly there's no more porn :(

Date: 2010-03-10 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esmerelda-t.livejournal.com
Does that mean I don't get a bad sex award?

Well you managed to avoid using all the *headdesk* terms and used imagery that hasn't been done to death, it gets the thumbs up from me. *cough* Not that I've read a lot of this sort of thing to compare it to...

Ah yes, there is many a fic that will never see the light of day on my computer that's been the result of red wine.

Date: 2010-03-10 11:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Well you managed to avoid using all the *headdesk* terms and used imagery that hasn't been done to death,
Phew! Still, I don't think I'll be writing many more of these. Good sex is not easy to write.

*cough* Not that I've read a lot of this sort of thing to compare it to...
Of course you haven't dear. The guilt of corrupting such a pure innocent soul as yourself will hound me to my grave. Or something.

the result of red wine.
Talking of which...

Date: 2010-03-10 11:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shezzawatto.livejournal.com
Oh dear! Just fired up the computer, running late as usual starting the day's work. Have to leave home office for other duties soon, and I was weak willed enough to hit the link to this "just to take a peek" (so much for Lenten self discipline!)
I'm so impressed! Such a difficult call, and your red wine infused imagination handled it beautifully. As you said, "in character". In vino veritas indeed. Hope there was not too much of a hangover payment.
As for "bad sex award" - far from it.
Will raise a glass of good Antipodean red tonight, to fertile imaginations released by the grape.
Well done, and thanks for the pleasure.

Date: 2010-03-10 11:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
I was weak willed enough to hit the link to this "just to take a peek" (so much for Lenten self discipline!)
It's all right. I won't tell.

Hope there was not too much of a hangover payment.
No more than usual ;) Tbh it was more the time and space that lead to this. They are infinitely rarer commodities.

Will raise a glass of good Antipodean red tonight
I'm honoured. Slainte mhath!

Glad you enjoyed and thanks for your encouraging comments as always.

Date: 2010-03-11 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jestana.livejournal.com
Oh, this was lovely and so very true to the characters. Horatio would insist, even when Archie's doubtful. And, of course Archie would pull back at the first hint of what he endured. Thank goodness they were able to fix it. *applauds* Bravo!

Date: 2010-03-11 12:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Hello, lovely of you to drop by :)

so very true to the characters
Thank god for that!

Horatio would insist, even when Archie's doubtful
He would indeed but he would have no idea that he was pushing it too far. Determination and innocence can be a dangerous combination.

*applauds*
*bows*

Thank you so very much m'dear, greatly appreciate your comments. :)

Date: 2010-03-14 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jestana.livejournal.com
Hehe. Yes, very true. Thank goodness he has Archie to help reign him in.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2010-03-11 10:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Brave of you to post this despite nervous thoughts of bad sex award:)
There's so much amazing writing in this fandom but there hasn't been much ummm, more explicit writing of late, so I did rather feel I was sticking my neck out a bit! Glad you enjoyed it :)

Interesting interaction
Well as [livejournal.com profile] esmerelda_tpointed out above first time sex between H&A was unlikely to be all "violins and soft focus".

Oh, and apologies for making you anxious. Shall I send Lt Bush over to help you calm down?
(deleted comment)

Date: 2010-03-11 01:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Imagine all the uptight feelings in general between men at that time (especially at sea) and then add H and A to that.
Exactly!

Not sure about the calming effect though (or well, I am..it's not going to be calm at all) ;)
Oh that's a shame. Don't worry, I've sent Lt Bush home, we wouldn't want you getting even more flustered!

Date: 2010-03-11 12:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_likimeya/
There's no other word for this, it's porn.
Well, I sure as hell am not complaining. =) As for the "bad sex award" – it’s Horatio/Archie! How bad can it be!?

No, seriously – I was quite surprised. I always thought of Horatio as the one who would be on top, at least in this pairing. I think it was a brilliant idea to have him on the bottom and Archie afraid of hurting, instead of getting hurt.

Date: 2010-03-11 01:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Well, I sure as hell am not complaining. =)
Good!

As for the "bad sex award" – it’s Horatio/Archie! How bad can it be!?
Hahaha! Very good point.

I was quite surprised. I always thought of Horatio as the one who would be on top
I'm sure Horatio will get his chance...Not that I spend hours thinking about this ;) but I've always assumed that they would switch. I just haven't got round to writing Horatio on top yet! Hmmm you've just started a little plot bunny hopping....


Date: 2010-03-11 05:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esmerelda-t.livejournal.com
I always think of Horatio as being the top, although I've noticed it's Archie in most fics I think I've read.

In 'real life' they'd probably take turns but since when was porn about real life. :P

Date: 2010-03-11 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
I always think of Horatio as being the top
Ah well, there's a difference between being "on top" and being "the top". (And therein lies another fic....) Horatio could indeed be the top but still be underneath. If you get my drift.

In 'real life' they'd probably take turns
Indeed. They'd both take turns at pitching and catching. So to speak...

(Btw Even by the standards of this fandom, I can't quite believe we're having this conversation *blush*)

Date: 2010-03-11 06:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esmerelda-t.livejournal.com
And therein lies another fic..

*hands you box of wine*

I can't quite believe we're having this conversation

Phft, I bet you'd hear worse on Loose Women!

Date: 2010-03-11 08:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
*hands you box of wine*
A whole box of wine?! Oh my! I'm not sure the poor boys can keep going that long ;)

Sadly time is always the problem with me, however I may have two free evenings next week, if I'm not knackered fic writing might ensue. So... you have a choice....shall I finish the angst fic where Horatio is pondering the man he might have been had Archie not snuffed it, or shall I finish the one where Archie has Horatio tied to the bed? You choose!

Phft, I bet you'd hear worse on Loose Women!
True. I just came over all coy because I was still in the office!

Date: 2010-03-11 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esmerelda-t.livejournal.com
Um...tied to the bed! :P

There isn't nearly enough filth in the fandom of late, I feel something should be done about that.

Date: 2010-03-11 10:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Awww, do you not want several thousand words worth of angst?

There isn't nearly enough filth in the fandom of late, I feel something should be done about that.
Right ho! I'll see what I can do about that ;)

Date: 2010-03-11 10:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esmerelda-t.livejournal.com
Awww, do you not want several thousand words worth of angst?

Well obviously I demand both!

Date: 2010-03-11 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Well obviously I demand both!
You want angst and kink? Better make sure I don't get them mixed up! ;P

Date: 2010-03-11 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esmerelda-t.livejournal.com
Wait, I thought angst was a kink?!

Date: 2010-03-11 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Hahaha, yes, good point!

Date: 2010-03-11 07:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_likimeya/
Even by the standards of this fandom, I can't quite believe we're having this conversation
Oh, believe me, the Hornblower fans are really quite well-behaved compared with what I'm used to from other fandoms! :p

Date: 2010-03-11 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Oh, believe me, the Hornblower fans are really quite well-behaved compared with what I'm used to from other fandoms! :p
Eeek! I'm such an innocent when it comes to fandom. I'm much more worldly in RL ;)

Date: 2016-07-28 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bauhiniakapok.livejournal.com
Reading these back-and-forth comments is really almost as much fun as reading the fic itself! But about the fic, I love this one. I love first-time or early-time fic that shows a recovering Archie who needs to work things through, not just a happy H and A going at it like rabbits the first time they realize they like each other. Sometimes I suspect that half the reason I like H/A slash is because it brings out the angst and the character development more than gen fic does. I like *this* kind of slash, not just purple prose in the fore top or wherever they are. (I can't bring myself to write or admit to reading the word p.o.r.n. - all right, there I said it!)

I also like the painful reality of their temporary coldness with each other - because real, loving relationships also involve misunderstandings and hurt feelings and needing to lay down your pride and apologize instead of waiting for your partner to make the first move. And real sex can be a lot of work as well. But I never, ever want them to be mad at each other for more than half of a short story, because reality has its limits!

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