♫ Join my melons to your lemons... ♪♬

Earlier today partner and I went over to Edinburgh for an International Festival concert by Les Arts Florissants. The performance was a mixed programme of French Baroque opera pieces performed in Edinburgh's gorgeous late-Georgian Queens Halls. It was a beautiful concert, but partner and I nearly lost it during the first recital of highlights from Robert Cambert's Pomone owing to the ludicrously suggestive libretto. The piece was performed in French, but the programme helpfully provided the following translation:

Pomone
The God of Gardens

Let us join our hearts and our empires;
Add to the fruits of your orchards
The herbs of my kitchen gardens,
Join my melons to your lemons;
And mix with your pine-kernels
My truffles and my mushrooms.

Excuse me???! Strangely, partner and I seemed to be the only ones struggling to stifle our sniggers...