Conegate

[anteros_lmc]

I was working in Edinburgh yesterday and when I returned to Glasgow late in the afternoon I discovered that the city had been rocked by a civic crisis of unparalleled dimensions*. Glasgow City Council had announced it would take measures to prevent vandalism of an A-listed statue of the Duke of Wellington which stands outside the Modern Art Gallery in the city centre. The "vandalism" in question refers to the traffic cone which traditionally adorns old Welly's head, and which has been placed there with great care and no small measure of Dutch courage by inebriated students since time immemorial.

A poe faced GCC press release stated:

"For more than 30 years the Wellington monument has been defaced by traffic cones which regularly appear on the head of the horse or rider (and sometimes both) after the revelries of the weekend. This depressing image of Glasgow has sadly featured in posters and postcards depicting the city."

The council went on to claim that removing Wellington's iconic headgear costs the city in the region of £10,000 a year. In order to stamp out this "depressing" vandalism GCC proposed to spent £65,000 raising the statue's plinth to a height of three metres in order to deter "all but the most determined vandals."

It's worth pointing out at this stage that Glaswegian "vandals" are nothing if not determined and are likely to view a raised plinth as more of a challenge than a deterrent.

Needless to say the good citizens of Glasgow were in uproar and expressed their displeasure as vociferously as only Glaswegians can, with great good humour and a good deal of sarcasm. The good denizens of the city took to social media in droves to gather petition signatures and alert the world to the injustice of the #Conegate scandal. And for once sense appear to have prevailed among our city fathers, with the BBC reporting this morning that the GCC have dropped their plans after a "massive backlash."

I like to think that somewhere to Duke himself is laughing his socks off at the whole kerfuffle, and I hope you'll agree that he looks rather stylish in his municipal headgear.

Disclaimer
I have never personally placed a cone on the Dukes head because a) I am too small to reach the top of the plinth, b) I am a scaredy cat and c) I have never been quite drunk enough to attempt it. However I may have helped give friends a leg up while I was a student, though tbh, the details are a bit vague ;)

*Can you have unparalleled dimensions? Sounds like the kind of thing that would play havoc with the space time continuum.

Comments

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

I had heard of the outrageous plan but not that it's been dropped. Huzzah!

Quite frankly I think if you can't pull off wearing an orange cone on your head then you have no business leading men into battle, none at all!

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Well exactly! Wellington's ability to rock a traffic cone just goes to prove what a leader of men he was.

I fear we spoke to soon about the council seeing sense. They have withdrawn their planning application for the raised plinth but are still threatening to take measures to curb the "vandalism". Best thing about this whole story though is that the councillor who originally raised the issue turned out to be from Edinburgh. One of his Glaswegian colleagues suggested razing Edinburgh castle and replacing it with a carpark XD

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

Gasp! I might have guessed the Edinbuggers were behind it!

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

The Edinbuggers are just jealous that their statues haven't got such stylish headgear!

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

Is this kind of urban revamp measures the reason for Glasgow's reputation as a capital of crime and violence? Suddenly, the reports of the dangerousness of drunken Scots appear a tad exaggerated.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Hey, don't write off the dangerousness of drunken Scots until you've seen me and esmerelda_t after a few of vinos :P

[lady-branwyn.livejournal.com]

It costs nearly 20,000 bucks (guesstimating the currency conversion) for someone to climb a ladder a few times a year? I want that job (no, I don't because I am terrified of heights).
Your "nonsense" tag is a brilliant idea, by the way.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

I hope the guy who climbs the ladder to remove the cone is actually getting paid £1000 for his efforts!

Your "nonsense" tag is a brilliant idea, by the way.
Why thank you m'dear. My nonsense tag has been sadly underused of late. I must rectify that!

[eglantine-br.livejournal.com]

As for unparalleled dimensions--- sounds like a geometry problem to me. I cannot work it, as I have no slate.

It also reminds me of a motto that we have in this house, picked up from a shrill internet tirade that A read somewhere-- "The consequences will never be the same!!"

When I was a baby my parents lived in Waterbury Ct. There was a statue there of 'Fighting Joe' Hooker

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Hooker

He was on a horse. Apparently some ruffians painted the horse's balls with florescent paint. Over and over. My parents thought it was delightful.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

unparalleled dimensions--- sounds like a geometry problem to me. I cannot work it, as I have no slate.
Bet Horatio could work it out! :)

Apparently some ruffians painted the horse's balls with florescent paint. Over and over. My parents thought it was delightful.
WHat could possibly be more delightful than a horse with fluorescent testicles?!

[aletheiafelinea.livejournal.com]

How could they! GCC, I mean. Before reading I saw the photo and had an immediate grin around my head. The best placed and most stylish traffic cone I've ever seen! Even the horse looks proud. :)

The most popular sculpture in Gdańsk is the Neptun's Fountain (http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Gda%C5%84sk,_Fontanna_Neptuna_-_fotopolska.eu_(106353).jpg). With a fig leaf. Or rather hippocamp leaf... er, hippocamp fin. Which has been repeatedly stolen (playful mermaids, no doubt) and stubbornly replaced (the city's less playful heritage conservators). In between one act and other, photos has been made though, and even postcards. A very NSFW proof! (http://trojmiasto.gazeta.pl/trojmiasto/1,35612,11627598,Pocztowka_z_Neptunem_z_lat_90___pletwy_nie_ma__wszystko.html) *g*

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

I think the Duke looks immensely stylish! And if you think the horse looks proud, you should see how chuffed he looks when he's wearing a cone too!

The most popular sculpture in Gdańsk is the Neptun's Fountain.
*stares* 0_o Personally I think Nepture looks distinctly more risqué with the leaf / fin / thingy in place. It looks like that hippocamp is giving him a good old grope XD

[aletheiafelinea.livejournal.com]

Ahem, it raises a question, what is this trident actually pointed at... *g*

[vespican.livejournal.com]

Here in Spokane, at Gonzaga University, the pipe that goes with the statue of Bing Crosby keeps disappearing.
Dave

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Poor old Bing, can they not leave him to enjoy his pipe in peace?!

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

I saw that and thought "Oh, for goodness sake!" Why not just leave the cones there to deter more coning?

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Och determined coners aren't afraid to remove the existing cone and replace it with one of their own choice!

[kittycallum.livejournal.com]

It isn't that much dafter than most of the other hats of his time! ;)

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

ROFL!!! That's a very good point indeed XD

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

But surely the placing of a conical tribute on top of a horse rider and/or a major landmark is an important tradition. Obviously lacking easy access to bits of tree and a convenient church steeple (see Castleton Garland), the locals are acting on ingrained pagan traditions and using the materials to hand.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Well indeed! Glasgow City Council are oppressing out right to express our deep rooted pagan rituals. It's discrimination I tell you!

[katriona-s.livejournal.com]

I've read this very interesting news on Japanese news site and liked it very much X)
And I too wonder... removing his stylish headgear really costs so much??? XD

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

You mean this was actually reported in Japan?! That's priceless! XD

And I too wonder... removing his stylish headgear really costs so much??? XD
Exactly! Why would anyone want to remove such a stylish hat?!