How to Ruin a Son

[anteros_lmc]

1. Let him have his own way.
2. Allow him the free use of money.
3. Suffer him to rove where he pleases on the Sabbath.
4. Give him free access to wicked companions.
5. Call him to no account for his evenings.
6. Furnish him with no stated employment.
7. Let him go to the theatre.

Pursue any one of these ways and you will experience a remarkable deliverance or you will have to mourn over a debased and ruined child. Thousands have realised the sad result and have gone mourning to the grave.

This stern warning appears in the The Females Advocate (1838) a publication of the London Female Mission, a charity which former Indefatigable midshipman Sir Henry Hart was a supporter of. I presume this book is fairly typical of the genre of 19th century improving texts but it rather fascinated me in a sort of horrified-amazement kind of way. The sections on "Errors in Female Education" and "Fascinating Snares" are particularly edifying. The latter, in case you're wondering, is about the dangers of listening to music. Don't say I didn't warn you!

PS. Is it just me or does that list make you think of Archie?

Comments

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

I fear it also applies to bartholomew. Mr k and lord h have no one to blame but themselves for his ruin!

As a general rule I'd ignore Victorian advice on child rearing. I'm only surprised there's no mention of allowing boys to see table legs.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Now you mention it, I'm surprised there isn't a whole chapter on How to Ruin A Spaniel. There is a section on The Spoilt Child, that might cover it. The Temptations of Bartholomew would make a great cautionary tale!

[eglantine-br.livejournal.com]

It does make me think of Archie--- the theater!

The suck-the-fun-of-everything league was alive and kicking. He was a living Antidote to gloom.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

And it's still alive and kicking where I was brought up I can tell you! Though thankfully not in my house.

It's very Archie isn't it? I love the idea of him being a living Antidote to gloom! What a perfect description of him :)

[azdak.livejournal.com]

I have to say that, leaving aside 1 and 3 as a matter of o tempora! o mores! , I find myself in considerable sympathy with this lady! Especially with regard to points 2 and 6. Having raised a privileged brat myself, who appears to believe that money grows on trees, that adulthood means getting all the rights and none of the responsibilities, and that work of any kind is for suckers, I am sadly aware how profligate and egocentric the young can be. If my own dear offspring had had a substantial fortune to burn through, she would doubtless have done so by now, thanks to ludicrous spending priorities and a cheerful conviction that The Parents Will Always Provide. Indeed, I find myself regretting that she wasn't apprenticed to a chimney sweep at a suitable age so that for the rest of her life, however bad things got, she would at least have the consolation that it was better than crawling up sooty chimneys in the dark and would Appreciate What She Has instead of constantly bewailing the lack of What She Has Not (like a car of her own or a swimming pool in the garden).

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Oh dear :} I fear you are making a valid point. Perhaps I should print this out and pin it on my wall as a note of caution!

Might I also recommend that you purchase a copy of this improving text and present it to your offspring at the first available opportunity? ;)

[azdak.livejournal.com]

What a splendid idea! And, come to think of it, "Fascinating Snares" with its warning against listening to music might make a very suitable present for my dear husband, who is constantly leaving the radio on.

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you need to take out a family subscription! XD

[amaraal.livejournal.com]

8. Let him join the Royal Navy.

Yes, it reminds me of Archie and a bit of Horatio too...

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

Ha yes! How could they have forgotten 8.? XD

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Archie, definitely. And, I have to say, as a parent, I approve of many of these things. (The doing of an not the banning of!)

[anteros-lmc.livejournal.com]

I like your style!

I must admit, I quite fancy letting Archie have his own way, allowing him free use of money and access to wicked companions, and then calling him to ask him to give an account of his evenings! XD

[charliecochrane.livejournal.com]

Sounds like we're appalling parents, but we've always tried to give our kids a degree of freedom, and encourage them to make their own decisions.

Have to say we've tended to not be overgenerous with money until we were certain they wouldn't squander it!