Wings

May. 22nd, 2010 12:44 am
anteros_lmc: (Default)
[personal profile] anteros_lmc
Title: Wings
Author: Anteros
Characters: Bush, Kennedy, Hornblower, Wellard
Rating: G
Warnings: Stupid, stupid, stupid Hornblower / LoTR Crossover Crackfic
Notes: I'm blaming [livejournal.com profile] gayalondiel for this one, although [livejournal.com profile] nodbear's not completely blameless. Gaya said "when someone new comes along and asks who pushed Captain Sawyer. Which is a worthy question (for the uninitiated, it's the equivalent of whether Balrogs have wings)". That resulted in a stupid plot bunny. [livejournal.com profile] gayalondiel m'dear, you can have this as a slightly belated birthday present. Everyone else might want to just ignore it. I'm going to pretend it never happened ;)



Lieutenant Bush found his quarry in the furthest recess of the hold. Not a place one would expect to find two lieutenants and a midshipman in the normal course of duty. Not unless they had something to hide. Bush's approach had been so silent that he was on them before they had time to scatter.

"Gentlemen?"

Wellard jumped up from the keg he'd been sitting on knocking it over and sending it rolling across the deck with a hollow clatter. Kennedy startled and shot a glance at the man crouched beside him. Only Hornblower remained impassive his face immediately assuming the mask like quality Bush had observed on previous occasions.

"Mr Bush?" Hornblower made the simple response sound like a polite but adamant challenge.

"I thought I might find you here," Bush faltered slightly in the face of Hornblower's implacable gaze. "I thought...I thought you might be able to tell me what happened the night the captain fell."

Kennedy, flicked another quick look at Hornblower. The 4th lieutenant's nervous glance convinced Bush he was on the right track and he steeled his nerve to ask the question he had come seeking an answer for.

"How did the captain fall down the hatchway, Mr Hornblower?"

"Mr Bush I am quite certain I know no more than I have already told you. I can only assume he missed his footing and lost his balance." It was stated as such a simple matter of fact that Bush was almost prepared to believe Hornblower. But still that mask like expression disturbed him.

"And you're quite sure..."

"The captain lost his footing and fell. I saw it" It was Wellard who had butted in. The boy was standing against the bulkhead, face pale, eyes wide as a rabbit's caught in the glare of a poachers lantern.

"I saw it. It caught his ankle."

Both Kennedy and Hornblower startled and for a moment Bush saw an expression of horror of disbelief flit across the 3rd lieutenant's face.

"Someone caught the captain's ankle Mr Wellard?" Bush tried to keep his voice steady.

"No, no, not someone, some thing." The boy was pale with terror. "It was like a shadow with flame flickering all around it, like a cat of fire."

"A what?" Now it was Bush's turn to assume the countenance of a startled rabbit. The bossun's beating had clearly addled the boy's wits.

Wellard was gasping for breath but appeared determined to continue. "A cat... a whip... it... it... caught the captain and dragged him over the edge."

"Mr Wellard are you telling me that someone dragged the captain down the hatchway with a cat?"

Wellard was blinking furiously, he looked as if he was about to cry.

"I couldn't see sir. It was so dark, and it's shadow reached out like two vast wings...."

"Wings? Wings Mr Wellard?" Bush was still gaping in astonishment when Hornblower stepped in.

"Wings indeed! Clearly Mr Wellard is not himself. The boy is startling at shadows. No doubt a result of Dr Clive's ministrations."

"But Horatio, Mr Wellard did say wings," Kennedy cut in.

"Nonsense Mr Kennedy, I do believe the boy's words were "like wings."

"But if it is a creature of shadow and its shadow is like wings then surely it indeed has wings. You are the master of logic Horatio you must see that is the case." Kennedy had set his jaw in that infernally stubborn line that Bush was all too familiar with.

"Really Archie, I see no logic whatsoever in your case. To say a thing is like wings does not in truth prove that a thing has wings."

"But Horatio..."



Bush left the arguing lieutenants in the hold where he had found them and stumbled back to his cabin. Nothing made any sense on this infernal ship. Clearly madness was not confined to the unfortunate captain. Bush collapsed onto his cot, overtaken by exhaustion and more than a little confusion.

He dreamed he was on a ship, sailing west, it was raining and as the rain-curtain rolled back he saw the shore and before him a far green country under a swift sunrise.

Bush woke with a start, the midshipman of the watch was pounding his cabin door, "Mr Bush, sir, lookout's sighted land". Bush struggled up from his cot. The entire crew might be mad as a bag of monkeys but at least they had reached Santa Domingo. Without the assistance of wings.




With profound apologies to Messrs. Tolkien and Forrester

Date: 2010-05-22 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kittycallum.livejournal.com
This just made my day! I am sitting in the ferry terminal giggling like a fool! I have heard allusions to the Balrog Wing Debate and I hear it is dangerous territory in LOTR fandom, so it's quite apt to combine that with the Most Asked Question in Hornblower!

Anyway. Hilarious. One question is settled -- how the captain fell -- but I have the feeling the wing debate will never be put to rest! Poor Bush ...

Date: 2010-05-22 02:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
I am sitting in the ferry terminal giggling like a fool!
Heh, glad you enjoyed it and it made you giggle :)

I have the feeling the wing debate will never be put to rest!
Oh yes, I'm sure the boys will be arguing about this for quite some time!

Date: 2010-05-22 05:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarlania.livejournal.com
Hehehe this is quite brilliantly done! I say I'm glad that you didn't overdo it with the LOTR bit, and it's all very plausible in a very twisted, multidimensional sort of way..........

*g*

Date: 2010-05-22 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Hehehe this is quite brilliantly done!
*bows* why thank you m'dear.

I'm glad that you didn't overdo it with the LOTR bit
What you mean with hobbits in the bilges and elves in the tops? I must admit I was tempted to make Wellard suddenly disappear though ;)

it's all very plausible in a very twisted, multidimensional sort of way..........
Plausible? Rofl!

Date: 2010-05-22 09:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_likimeya/
Please, you can't write a Hornblower/LotR crossover and tell me to ignore it!! :p

This is brilliant and I can totally see Horatio and Archie arguing like that, as absurd as it is.

He dreamed he was on a ship, sailing west, it was raining and as the rain-curtain rolled back he saw the shore and before him a far green country under a swift sunrise.
*rofl* Well, he is sailing west. And he does have the Hobbits' curly hair. See, you're not that far from canon. =)

Date: 2010-05-22 02:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
you can't write a Hornblower/LotR crossover and tell me to ignore it!!
Okay, you're allowed to read it. But no one else!

I can totally see Horatio and Archie arguing like that
And you just know they're never going to agree. In fact they're probably still arguing in some parallel crackfic universe even now!

See, you're not that far from canon.
Between you and me, I'm much more familiar with Tolkien book canon than CSF, but don't tell anyone ;)

Date: 2010-05-22 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_likimeya/
In fact they're probably still arguing in some parallel crackfic universe even now!
If they haven't made enough noise to wake the Balrog yet again.

Between you and me, I'm much more familiar with Tolkien book canon than CSF
Yes, so am I, although I have forgotten so much over the years. There were times when I could have named the kings and queens of Numenor in chronological, and I used to write letters in elvish script with my online friends. Yeah, those were the days… :D

Date: 2010-05-22 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
There were times when I could have named the kings and queens of Numenor in chronological
Hehe me too!

and I used to write letters in elvish script with my online friends.
Okaaaay I never quite went that far... ;)

Date: 2010-05-22 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Damn cheek!! Do I get extra points for doing Tolkien's Pearl and Sir Orfeo at uni??

Date: 2010-05-22 11:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nodbear.livejournal.com
Nearest claim to points I can get was having the odd beer in the Bird and Baby in St Giles when a student!
and to still owning a copy of Farmer Giles Of Ham:o

Date: 2010-05-22 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Hmmm not bad but I suspect you'll have to do better than that to cut the mustard with [livejournal.com profile] _likimeya. Unless of course you ordered the beer in Quenya...

Your Archie is looking rightly confused ;)

Date: 2010-05-23 12:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nodbear.livejournal.com
Well, I also did Old English
translation in my first year at uni with Priscilla Tolkien for our tutor
any good?
just wrested the Fonseca Tawny away from Sir Edward so it really is good night now !

Date: 2010-05-23 08:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Morning! I do hope Sir Edward isn't too much the worse for wear after last night's excesses? I must say he has excellent choice in port. You might want to put your cellar under lock and key though ;)

I also did Old English
translation in my first year at uni with Priscilla Tolkien for our tutor

I'll say!

Date: 2010-05-23 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nodbear.livejournal.com
Another icon from Jestana with due acknowledgement to feline artistry - looks just like Fonseca Tawny !

Only the best in port - even if, unlike Pownall, he did not marry a wine merchants daughter !

Sir Edward was undoubtedly a little subdued earlier but is diligently at work on his agony uncle postbag currently

Date: 2010-05-23 10:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Nice icon! I am surprisingly short of alcoholic icons apart form this one!

even if, unlike Pownall, he did not marry a wine merchants daughter !
Perhaps that's just as well! ;)

Sir Edward was undoubtedly a little subdued earlier but is diligently at work on his agony uncle postbag currently
Glad to hear he is finally attending to the delicate matter of his crew's well being.

Date: 2010-05-23 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nodbear.livejournal.com
Will this do ma'am ?

Back to 'Confused' - whom Nodbear has just excised from this picture - poor boy!

Date: 2010-05-24 09:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Will this do ma'am ?
Admirably sir, admirably!

Date: 2010-05-23 08:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_likimeya/
*grumbles*
I was born too late, and in the wrong country!

Date: 2010-05-23 08:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_likimeya/
Do I get extra points for doing Tolkien's Pearl and Sir Orfeo at uni??
I don't even know those! *is ashamed*

Date: 2010-05-22 12:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gayalondiel.livejournal.com
Oh my darling, I laughed so much that I cried! This is just delightful, thank you so much! :D having been privy to several balrog debates, the image of our boys debating it is just delightful. Thank you thank you!
Edited Date: 2010-05-22 12:13 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-05-22 02:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
You're very welcome. Glad you enjoyed! That was prbably the silliest plot bunny that I have ever had the dubious pleasure of meeting.

having been privy to several balrog debates, the image of our boys debating it is just delightful.
Of course you know what happens next don't you? They carry on arguing, Archie storms off in the huff and then they have to make up by having really hawt secks ;) They never do agree about the wings though....

Date: 2010-05-22 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gayalondiel.livejournal.com
okay I need a sequel.

Now that doesn't normally happen in Tolkien Society debates. A least,, not to my knowledge.

Date: 2010-05-22 05:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Now that doesn't normally happen in Tolkien Society debates

No?? *bats eyelashes innocently* What a shame! ;P

Date: 2010-05-22 07:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gayalondiel.livejournal.com
Well, maybe at room parties, but the house rules prevent us from disclosing what goes on there ;)

Date: 2010-05-22 01:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-branwyn.livejournal.com
Hee! Mystery solved, though I fear that that explanation will not hold up in court. LOTR fans have been known to meet on deserted beaches to settle the matter of Balrog wings, crossing their annotated copies of The Silmarillion with murderously long-winded results.
Thank you for a good laugh!

Date: 2010-05-22 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Hehe! Glad this gave you a laugh.

LOTR fans have been known to meet on deserted beaches to settle the matter of Balrog wings
I can believe it!! Which is one reason I am way too chicken to go near LOTR fandom ;)

Love your icon btw!

Date: 2010-05-22 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] just-ann-now.livejournal.com
Hee! And don't even think of bringing up the subject of beards...

Date: 2010-05-22 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Beards? No argument there. The Royal Navy quite simple does not allow them.

Not even on female dwarves. ;)

Date: 2010-05-22 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] just-ann-now.livejournal.com
*giggling* Very nice! I particularly liked the ending, too.

Date: 2010-05-22 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Hello [livejournal.com profile] just_ann_now, welcome to teh silly!

I particularly liked the ending
Alas if only Mutiny & Retribution had ended with the pretty navy boys sailing off into the west!

Date: 2010-05-22 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nodbear.livejournal.com
Nodbear is rarely entirely blameless in life - but all I thought I did however was express a wish to ban Captain Sawyer from Gaya's costume dinner- maybe thats it , though- anyway if this was the result my failed prohibition was worth it
and talking of costume - or lack of it - Anteros you have the blame for something that is coming shortly- not only involving lieutenants but seriously in danger of causing a lapse of judgement in a senior officer..
its all to do with sackcloth and buckets just in case you were wondering

Date: 2010-05-22 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Nodbear is rarely entirely blameless in life
Yes I am rapidly coming to that conclusion... ;)

Anteros you have the blame for something that is coming shortly
Uh oh....

its all to do with sackcloth and buckets just in case you were wondering
Oh lordy, what have I started....?? You make Archie looks like Oor Wullie and I'll kill you!


Date: 2010-05-22 07:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nodbear.livejournal.com
Would I commit such sacrilege ? Don't call me out till you see the result, please
and no, Archie could never resemble Oor Wullie except in the intentionally wicked grin
meanwhile back at the crackfic coalface Edward is just about to finish explaining to the admiral ....

Date: 2010-05-22 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Would I commit such sacrilege ?
Nothing would surprise me!! But no, I won't call you out yet ;)

Archie could never resemble Oor Wullie except in the intentionally wicked grin
That is certainly something they do share!

meanwhile back at the crackfic coalface Edward is just about to finish explaining to the admiral ....
I hope he's not been at the port again?? I shudder to think.

Date: 2010-05-22 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nodbear.livejournal.com
At the port again? * deadpan face used ( unsuccessfully) to fool lieutenants*
ma'am if you had to go explain yourself to Hood you would be at the port too

all will be rvealed soon but Nodbear is at the moment on the phone - a not infrequent occurrence I have observed ...

Date: 2010-05-22 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
ma'am if you had to go explain yourself to Hood you would be at the port too
Indeed Sir Edward you have my deepest sympathy in such regards. However there are few trials a good Lisbon can not ease.

Nodbear is at the moment on the phone
Well I do hope Madam Nodbear is aware that you have purloined her LJ account in her absence!

Date: 2010-05-22 11:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nodbear.livejournal.com
She does not know yet - or that I have been at her port either
*leaves hurriedly as Nodbear is heard on the way upstairs to her study*

Date: 2010-05-22 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esmerelda-t.livejournal.com
I dont know what a balrog is, but this seems as good an explanation as any!

Although everyone knows Horatio did it, mainly by leaving a snoring Bartholomew where Sawyer would trip over him

Date: 2010-05-22 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
I dont know what a balrog is
Don't worry dear, no one else does either.

everyone knows Horatio did it, mainly by leaving a snoring Bartholomew where Sawyer would trip over him
Does Bartholomew have wings?

Date: 2010-05-22 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esmerelda-t.livejournal.com
Does Bartholomew have wings?

Who knows what outfits they dress him up in?

Date: 2010-05-23 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nodbear.livejournal.com
You may need to take a deep breath before viewing -but there are clearly those who buy fairy outfits for hounds at at any rate ...
seen here: http://spoiledrottendoggies.com/fcostumes.htm

Date: 2010-05-23 10:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
Oh my! I don't think Lord H would be too keen on talking Bartholomew for a walk on the common dressed like that!

Date: 2013-10-31 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com
Oh ha ha! If anyone deserves to be dragged down by a Balrog, it's Captain Sawyer.

Date: 2013-11-01 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anteros-lmc.livejournal.com
And if anyone deserves to sail into the West it's William Bush :)

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